Wednesday, October 3, 2012

27 months...when do you stop counting months?

That is the question. When do I stop referring to Adrianna as being "....months old?" It is so weird to say she is two, she looks so much younger than two yet acts so much older than two. I am not sure when I last left off on her development but she is fully speaking sentences now. Full, opinionated, funny sentences. She repeated every little thing we say. She asks for things, says no to things and will tell us exactly what is going through her little mind. I ask her what she wants for breakfast every morning and every morning it is either oatmeal or cereal. Not just any cereal, she specifically asks for Froot Loops. I let her pick out her own cereal at the store (big mistake) and after I vetoed Toasty-Os and Frosted Flakes I caved on Froot Loops...and boy is she HOOKED! It is fun to see her love the cereals I loved as a kid. Yea Yea it is sugary blah blah, she gets plenty of well balanced meals and healthy snacks throughout the day (most days anyway). I am just happy she is eating anything at all. She has to help me make her lunch now too, which I think helps her get excited about eating it. We make PBJ sandwiches together all the time and she gets a kick out of it. She tells me "more momma" or "all done momma" and even says "yumm it good momma" when she really likes what she is eating. Thank God she loves to eat now. Now I have an actual little person to entertain every day. She interacts with me, tells me she wants to go to the park or to play with a friend or play with her toys. She tells me what bedtime story she wants to read ( today was green eggs and ham, which she asked for clear as day) and what shoes she wants to wear. I guess what is most surprising to me is how much detail she can express in her sentences at two! It is amazing what she has learned and what she understands. She gave her baby doll time out the other day and when I asked her why her doll got time out she said "he biting it" which means the doll bit her...she says that when the dog licks her too. It is just too funny!
Recently, we enrolled Adrianna in a dance studio. She was taking ballet and tap. I really thought she would love it because she loves to be independent and loves to follow movement and direction, but it turns out she hated it. She hated being away from me, I had to leave her in the class and the door had to be closed while I watched from the waiting room on a video screen. Some days she seems so mature and so independent that I forget she does still need her mommy. She needs the security of knowing I am right there with her. She is a little shy around other kids so reassurance is still very much something she seeks from me often. I tried it for 3 weeks and then finally decided to pull her out of dance. I was reminded during this time that she is still very much my baby girl. She is not that big, she is still little and still needs me. I am in no rush to make her grow up. This includes potty training. I want her to fully be ready before I throw her into another scenario that will make her little world turn upside down. This includes preschool. We can start her in preschool at 2 years 9 months...but I doubt I will start that early.
I am a very (mostly) hands off kind of parent. Nothing phases me. Adrianna can play in dirt, eat candy, play in puddles and mud, doesn't have to hold my hand every single second when we are outside of the house etc...I don't really let my fears of what might happen get to me when it comes to letting her blossom into a preschooler. I do fear, believe me I fear. I fear that something will happen or someone might kidnap her or that she might choke, get a parasite or get bullied. These are all rational fears, I just try to keep everything in perspective. I still let her be free, to be herself. My wish is that she will not need my reassurance as much as the months go on. My fear is that she will not need me as much as the months go on. The reality that I am faced with is that she will not need me or my reassurance as much in the very extremely near future. Then, maybe then I will stop referring to her age in months....and that is the final milestone I have left of her "baby days." And my fear is that I may never have the chance to fully appreciate every single second of that ever again...because with Adrianna I couldn't wait for her to be who she is right now, talking and being herself. No one warned me that I may never experience the "baby days" again...otherwise I would have cherished every single moment that.much.more.

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