Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The first year..

"It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom,
it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief,
it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light,
it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope,
it was the winter of despair..."

This quote, from one of my favorite classic books, just seems appropriate for how this first year went, ha! In a blink of an eye my babies turned 1. I feel like the luckiest mom alive to have had this year with them. So full of life, so happy, so innocent...even with multiple night time wake ups and countless needs for day time cuddles. I used to think my heart would never be big enough to give love for two babies at the same time on top of the love I have for Adrianna. I was wrong. I don't think I can really put into words the love I have for Victoria and Isabella. Such a different love for each of my girls. each of them teaching me a different lesson in motherhood, each showing me love in their own way. Apparently my arms were also wide enough to feed them both at the same time while giving Adrianna attention as well. Multitasking has taken on a whole new meaning this past year. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I have to admit, one of the hardest things about being a mom of twins is the amount you miss out on. I can't remember the last time I had a baby fall asleep on my chest, or when I would just stare at them sleeping. I barely had one on one time with each one. It was a guilt I had to fight through. I feel like they got as much of me as I could possibly give. They are happy, they love me and that is all that matters. What a difference from Adrianna! I did everything with Adrianna when she was a baby! We went to mommy and me classes, went out to lunch, ran errands together, had random park trips, took naps on my couch together, she watched me cook and was my taste tester most night, it was amazing! I am so grateful that I was able to experience that as a first time mom. At the same time, I feel like I grew as a mother with the twins. Sure we can't do mommy and me classes, but very few people can say they have felt their heart fill with joy (more than joy) when they hear their sweet twin babies (or more if you are blessed with triplets etc) talking to each other and laughing over the video monitor first thing in the morning. They follow each other, do the same things, and sure they fight over toys but it is still cute (for now). My family and friends have enjoyed watching in awe as I tackle motherhood with 3 under 3, 2 of which are twins. I have been asked plenty of times how I do it, how I survive. My answer, every day is a new challenge with some extreme cuteness sprinkled in between that makes the hard times doable. 

Victoria, you have quite a personality. You are spunky, funny, social and attached to my hip! You have learned so much, and are currently taking your first steps. You are not cautious at all! You do and think later. I love that about you. It will hopefully mean that as you get older you will tackle life without fear. I will have to teach you to think of the consequences of your actions I am assuming...which may be a challenge. I am just glad you are you and I love you with all of my heart and soul! 

Isabella, my sweet Bella. You are hard HEADED! You don't take no for an answer! But it is so hard to say no to that sweet little innocent face. You are curious of the world around you and want to explore it all! You are a little more cautious, which is a good thing. You take your time doing things. For example, I know you can say plenty of words, I have heard you say mama, dada, ball, dog, go, but you refuse to say them on demand. You will choose when you want to say them, everything is on your own agenda. You are trying to walk but haven't taken any steps yet. You get way too excited when you stand which causes you to drop to your knees because you crawl with lightning speed! Who needs walking? Ha! You are beautiful, pensive and independent. You adore Adrianna and love to chase her around the house, both of you crawling of course.
My favorite thing about both of you is that no matter what you are doing, when you see daddy on facetime (he travels oh so much) or when he gets home your faces light up and you get so very excited! You have started to call him Joe, just like Adrianna (we are working on getting the daddy thing down) and it is cute! Though daddy would love to be referred to as daddy eventually. You both have lots of teeth and love to cuddle with mommy. I need to make more time to cuddle. I have to say I am not a cuddler, but I have gotten better at making time to do so. 

Thank you, by the way, for being amazing eaters and sleepers. Sure you have the occasional food you hate and nights you wake up in need of a little rocking but those are far and few between. You are up at 7, nap at 10-11:30, then again at 1:30-3:30 and are down at 7pm like clockwork. All on your own too! You feed yourselves, I just cut up food for you and place it on your trays and you are happily eating away. I am so lucky. 

I still don't know what I did to deserve such great children. Adrianna is the best big sister ever. Sure she has her own issues, 4 year olds are tiny teenagers I am convinced, but she is amazing. The love she has for you both makes my love for all of you grow with fury. This was the toughest, exciting, exhausting, challenging, best year I have ever had...EVER! But I wouldn't change a thing. Here's to all the new experiences and challenges of this coming year! Something tells me the fun has only just begun.