Waiting is for the birds....

This entry contains a little bit too much information for those who dont want to read. Just a warning...nothing graphic but you will get to know my "cycle" a little. :)

I promised that you all will know when I know about our journey to baby number 2. So here is where we are. Please no Facebook posts or comments about this....I will link this entry to FB when I am ready...this is for my blog friends only for now :) Well after much thought and planning on our part, joe and I decided to start trying for baby number two again. We have been through a lot of tough days with our recent loss of baby girl that I miscarried back in February (chromosomal testing determined sex) that we weren't sure when we would be ready again. I really thought it would take me longer to want to attemp this again, I have been scared....we both have. The month of march was spent preparing for my husband's trip to Tampa, so that left little time to dwell on my hurt. My brain was busy. He left the second week of march and when I was faced with spending my nights alone the hurt came back. I cried almost every single night for a week. The only thing that helped was the thought of going to spend a month in Tampa with him in April then while he goes overseas spending a month in Miami. Fast forward to the last week of march, something happened. I felt in my heart I was ready again to try and conceive a precious little baby. I had watched an episode of 19 kids and counting where Michelle Duggar had miscarried a child at 19 weeks gestation. She was devastated but instead of focusing on the hurt and the emotional pain, she focused on the fact that she was blessed to have been given the oppoutunity to carry that child. She saw hope in the future. Although sad, she didn't let this send her into a depression. She continued on with her daily living and tried to appreciate the blessings she did already have in her life. I knew I was ready. She encouraged me to look at my blessings and not to fear the unknown. Not personally, but I swear it was like she was speaking directly to me during this episode.

I flew into Tampa on April 1st, looking forward to dive into trying to conceive again. I had decided not to wait for my menstrual cycle to return, I was given the green light by my OB to go ahead with my plans as long as I was ready and there is no certainty when it would return after a d&c. Sure enough, as I left the plane and met up with Joe in Tampa and like a bad april fools joke, I got my period. We waited and waited for it to be over. It seemed like forever. I downloaded an ovulation app on my phone (for free, I'm not that crazy) and we got on our way to actively trying for a baby. My next due menstraul cycle was suppose to be on the 24th of april, things went as planned my nature and I started another cycle. That was unsuccessful attempt #1. We waited yet again and checked my ovulation then tried again. Now it is today, May 19, and I am one day late. You would think I would have the answer I have been waiting for....the positive pregnancy test. Well I don't. Just my luck, I am the lucky person that must wait a full week past the expected start of my period to test. I have taken 5 pregnancy test within the last 4 days, yes one day I took two...once in the morning and once at night. I am the crazy lady that buys tons of pregnancy tests...I realize this is expensive but I HATE WAITING! This morning I took yet another test, this makes 6, and I saw the most deceiving plus sign. It was barely visible but I know I saw it....Joe thinks I am crazy. I still don't have my period, I don't have any concrete answers, and I am getting impatient. I do, however, have some slight symptoms. Today at breakfast I thought I was going to literally throw up everywhere after taking a bite of my omelet because I thought the cheese tasted funny. I sent it back and was made a new one....this time the sausage tasted funny. Only to me, Joe said it tasted fine to him. I am starting to suspect that is an early sign of something. I am also extremely irratble and very VERY tired. Also signs that something is up. I needed to make sure to blog all of this because I want to remember. I want to know how I felt when I found out we were expecting our second precious little baby. I don't know for sure yet, but I don't want to take any chances and Forget any of this. This may be a little bit too much information for some :) but hey, I write this for me, not you....well kind of for you too but anyway don't say I didn't warn you. I don't plan on leaving any details out throughout this possible pregnancy so prepare for the ride! So now you are all on the same page as I am.... Let's hope for the best together. I promise I will not be extremely disappointed if it doesn't happen right now, we will have plenty of time to try again when joe returns from overseas. But still, please pray...