Sunday, March 20, 2011

Babies do the darndest things

I spent some time thinking today about friendships. There are people in my life that will always be a friend to me, no matter how little we keep in touch. People that, although we haven't seen in months or even years, I will still feel comfortable around as if we never missed a day.

As my life has changed and progressed, there are fewer and fewer people I call "friends." I know plenty of people, but never seem to get that connection with them. Being the first (and only) one married from my close group of girlfriends has caused us to grow apart in some ways. It doesn't help that they live in New York and I in Massachusetts (We move around every 3 years or so). Having a baby completely changed the relationships I had with my friends. I am at a completely different place in my life so it is no wonder we have grown apart. I still love them and love to get together when we visit NY but I can't help but feel out of place or "old." OLD, I'm only 25! But lately it feels like I'm the only 20 something stay at home mom I know. I have yet to meet a younger stay at home mom....someone I can relate to and share who I am today with. Someone that knows the me now, not the me when I was single or in college. It's a lonely SAHM (stay at home mom) mom world out there it seems. Is what I'm doing so unique nowadays?

I am kinda different now than I was then....like 4 years ago, yup in so little time ha! Not different in personality, but different in maturity. My daily routine is very different than many of the 20 somethings I know. While most are working 9-5s I am feeding a baby that has had me awake since 6am. While most go to happy hour on Fridays, I look forward to our "dinner out" day....where, might I add, I don't do much eating because Adrianna is very cute and likes to play with mommy ALL the time. =) I wake up at 6am eat dinner at 4:30pm and am in bed by 9pm. We don't party on the weekends, instead we do family things like go for walks and take lots of pictures. I love that we have that kind of like, I don't regret a single thing. I love that my job is to play with my baby girl (plus housework, cooking, grocery shop, take care of my little poop machine) but staying at home is NOT easier that working by any means.

Once upon a time, I had a career. I worked in the social services field for a couple of years. I used to scoff at soon-to-be moms that decide to stay home instead of work. I didn't know any better. I learned very early in mommyhood that unless you have a child you will never know why other moms make the decisions they make. I totally get why some moms go the all natural organic route for their kids. I get why some moms decide to exclusively breastfeed while others opt for formula. I get why some go back to work and some stay home. I get why some co-sleep while others put their babies in their own room after 2 months. I get why some believe in no tv at all while others think educational shows are okay. I get why some opt out of day care and some take their babies to day care as early as 6 weeks old. It is all situational. I don't judge anymore, I have done things with Adrianna I swore I'd never do....letting her sleep in bed with me and being a SAHM are 2 main ones. I didn't know what it was like until I had my own. You never know why moms out there make the decisions they make. Some do it because they have no choice and some because that is what they grew up knowing. One thing I know for sure is that EVERY mom is making the very best choice they can for their child. I am thankful Adrianna changed that about me, she made me stop judging other people's decisions...what an ugly personality trait that was. She has changed me for the better. I love more, I care more, I am more open with people and just learn to appreciate each given day. Babies do the darndest things don't they?

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