Tuesday, May 14, 2013

10 Things I will NOT miss about pregnancy

I hoped and prayed for this pregnancy. I longed for that positive pregnancy test. As I near the end and get ready to meet the twins soon I can't stop thinking of the things I will not miss about pregnancy, or maybe specifically this pregnancy.

10. Constant peeing. I have had a personal relationship with the toilet and toilet paper since about 10 weeks along. The big difference between this pregnancy and my pregnancy with Adrianna was that I stopped having the urge to pee every hour around the second trimester. I still get up about every half hour now to pee. It's annoying

9. Hunger. Sounds funny but I am tired of being hungry all.the.time. I hate having to cook food for myself 5-6 times a day, not like I make big meals each time but even making a sandwich gets tedious after a while. I always have to make sure I eat before I go anywhere instead of just winging it like I usually do. Annoying

8. Sleep Issues. Whether it is lack of sleep or feeling sleepy, it really interferes with your daily life. Poor Adrianna has to deal with a lethargic mommy all day and poor Joe has to deal with a talkative wife all night because there are very important topics to discuss at 2am...like nursery decor, boiling bottles etc. haha.

7. Waddling. You know, the pregnancy waddle.Even if I don't want to waddle, the pressure I feel on my hips forces me to do so. And most of the time I get the pity look from anyone that watches me waddle while walking with Adrianna...strangers just make an "aww poor you" face and it's awkward.

6. Pubic Bone Pain. I had never experienced this with Adrianna but boy is it painful. Let me explain...the pubic bone is really two bones on each side that meet in the middle and during pregnancy gets soft and ready to separate during child birth. Totally normal. Except for some women, the softening happens too early and the bones are very soft and begin separating a tiny bit way before delivery. The minute I hit 20 weeks this pain began and let me tell you; when you have to brace yourself to walk up stairs, turn over in bed, or even worse put on pants because the pain is unbearable, you long for the days where you felt normal and never had aches like this.

5. Anxiety. I have been nervous about this pregnancy since the moment I found out I was pregnant. It got worse when we found out we were expecting twins. I had a hard time feeling happy about my pregnancy and I tried really hard to enjoy this special time. I would blog, take pictures of my growing belly, but even though the positive comments were good to read from friends on social media like Facebook or Instagram, none made me feel happy. I figured if I expose my pregnancy to the world that it would feel more real in my mind. It didn't really work out that way but I am so glad I have documented so many details of this pregnancy. I prayed to hit the 12 week mark. I prayed to hit viability at 24 weeks, I prayed to hit 30 weeks and here I am now praying that they are healthy enough to be born soon since I am on hospital bed rest and baby A is not growing so well. I am currently praying baby A makes it through all of this scary unknown. I hate unknowns. I trust my OB, she reassures me that baby A is doing well and that she would not let anything happen to her. I have to let go and trust in others and in God, I have had to do this throughout the whole pregnancy and I am ready to stop being anxious.

4. All of the attention. Not from friends and family, more so the attention from strangers. People I don't know feel the need to comment on how I must be ready to pop, on how my daughter is going to be jealous, on how I shouldn't be lifting this or doing that, how twins are so hard and double the work and how I will be super busy blah blah blah. All of this coming from friends and family is not annoying, this coming from strangers is annoying. One other thing is also just being the center of attention within my family as well. I love how much they care and how happy they all are but I have always hated being the center of attention in a baby shower, heck I hated that feeling during my own wedding! I'm just a fairly shy person, though most people don't see that about me. I try to work through my shyness and I force myself into social situations where there are people I may not know. I am much less shy than I was a number of years ago.

3. All of the doctor appointments! I see an OB, endocrinologist, nutritionist, get lab work done monthly and sometimes twice a month, maternal fetal medicine (high risk OB) and all of these range from every two weeks to every month. Sometimes I have appointments with one of these every week and end up at an appointment 2-3 times a week for a full month. It is a lot to handle. Plus, I have to take Adrianna along most times. She behaves pretty well but it is a lot of work. Especially if one of these appointments is early in the morning, like at 8am. I am ready to be done seeing a doctor for myself. I know my babies will have a ton of appointments in their first few weeks and months but I can handle that....I think.

2. Feeling BIG! I can't get off the couch without rolling off first, tie my shoes or put on my socks without help or a huge struggle, stand for long periods of time, talk without getting out of breath (yes talking makes me have to catch my breath), walk for long periods of time, eat without feeling sooooo full almost immediately, shave comfortably in the shower (worst thing ever! some parts I can't even reach, yikes!), even trying to wipe after using the bathroom is near impossible (don't worry, I make every attempt to do this successfully and I haven't failed yet lol). It makes you feel helpless. My belly is much bigger than with Adrianna so these things are much more noticeable. I am on bed rest currently because of preterm labor, I am pretty sure it is because my uterus is so big my body is confused and thinks I am full term.

1. The number one thing I will not miss about being pregnant is....I don't really have one. I realize that all of the things I listed are horrible and have made these past 8 months hard and uncomfortable. The truth is, I WILL miss being pregnant. I feel like I have been jipped(sp?) because I will never experience a full term pregnancy, or an 8 lb baby, or the feeling of having a baby placed right on your chest right after that last excruciating push. Ok, many of you who have experienced the 8 lb baby and going past your due date must think I am crazy but I promise you...if you ever experience pregnancy ending sooner than expected you will know just how it feels to miss not having a baby in you when you thought you had just a few more weeks of kicks and jolts within left....a few more weeks just you and your baby and you don't have to share them. It is so much easier to care for a baby within than to care for them when they are born, at least that is my opinion. I may be done with this pregnancy mentally, so over bed rest and ready to meet my twinkies, but a part of me is very sad that it went by so fast and I don't feel like I got the chance to fully savor my last pregnancy ever. This will likely be the last time I will experience growing a life from within. I will, however, continue to plead my case to my husband because I am crazy enough to be contemplating a #4 even though #2&3 aren't even here yet. I LOVE to HATE being pregnant. 

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