Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Who has time to be lonely when you have a baby?

I helped send Joe off to SOS over the weekend. I drove to NY to my parent's house last Thursday so that I could give myself time to settle Adrianna into their house for the weekend, settle the dogs in as well, and maybe get some rest somewhere in between. Joe drove the next day to pick me up and off we went on our quick roadtrip to Atlanta. The plan was to drive to Virginia Friday then to Atlanta Saturday. I would then take a flight back to New York Sunday and Joe would continue his drive to Maxwell AFB in Alabama that day. Everything worked out pretty smoothly and exactly as planned. It was actually a nice way to send him off for 5 weeks.

We got to spend some "us" time together. It's funny how much you forget what it is like to be with each other alone when you have a baby. It was so strange to not have to worry about feedings, diaper changes etc. It was almost like we re-bonded as an "us" even if it was only for a few days. We missed Adrianna like crazy though. I called my mom about a hundred times, "did she eat? what did she eat? what time did she eat? how many poops did she have? were they normal? I heard her cough is she ok?" Typical worrier that I am. Joe missed her the most. He had to say goodbye to her knowing he wouldn't see her for 5 weeks. We cried a little in the car talking about it. I know that 5 weeks is nothing compared to others who have to do without their spouses for months or even a year and they are deployed in much more dangerous places than Montgomery, AL (although if you've ever been there I doubt you'd feel safe, Ha!). I still feel that any time away from home, whether it be one week or one year, is hard.

My heart hurts for those who's husbands had to say goodbye to their babies and wont see them for months....it just doesn't seem fair to put children through something like that. But then you think about the bigger picture, what the work that our husbands do really means, and you feel so proud to know that they help shape and mold what our country is. It is almost beyond comprehension. Can you imagine what they must see everyday? I sure can't. But it comes with the territory of being a military family. You can explain to your child about why daddy (or mommy) has to leave and when they will come back and hope they understand. I am most definitely not looking forward to the day Joe has to deploy and Adrianna (and our future children) understand he is leaving and they just cry and cry. I struggle with that thought, but I try and mentally prepare myself for the inevitable as much as possible.

 Alas, Joe is not deployed. He will return at the end of August and things will get back to normal fairly quickly. I know Adrianna misses him, but she doesn't really understand the concept of him being gone yet. When he comes back she will be just as excited as if he were coming home from a regular 8 hour work day (she can barely contain the excitement she feels when he walks through the door every day). I miss him so much. My routine is completely thrown off due to him being away. A lot of what I do during the day and the times I do it revolve around his schedule. When he is away, I tend to slack off on schedules. Dishes pile up in the sink until I feel like loading the dishwasher, I don't cook (canned soup most nights), basically housework takes a back seat and I end up playing with Adrianna almost all day. It's nice for a few days or even a week, but 5 weeks of that can get old fast. I decided I was just going to stay at my parents' house in NY for the next few weeks. At least I will be getting some help with Adrianna and I can catch up with friends. Plus it is always nice for Adrianna to get quality time with both sets of grandparents. Basically, I wont have time to feel lonely. And hey, maybe I can actually go get that mani/pedi that I have been desperately desiring for weeks now =)
Almost one week down!


  1. hey there, i know how you feel thinking about any possible future deployment. it seems so unbearable that i always have to stop thinking about it and block it out. have you ever seen that video of the soldiers returning from deployments? i was seriously sobbing the first time i saw it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSMlIM9zLio&feature=related
    anyway, i hope boston is treating you well. i seriously miss it there!

  2. Deployment has not been as rough as I was afraid it would be. Yes, I miss Paul tremendously, but we get to talk or skype most days. The nights and weekends are the hardest because that is when I'm the loneliest. We are heading down to FL this fall to spend a few months with family. I hear ya on that mani/pedi thing. All I want to do is go to a movie. We are one month down...only 5 more to go! Whenever I feel down I remind myself about the Army families where they deploy for 18 months and it doesn't seem so bad. Have fun in NY!