I hoped and prayed for this pregnancy. I longed for that positive pregnancy test. As I near the end and get ready to meet the twins soon I can't stop thinking of the things I will not miss about pregnancy, or maybe specifically this pregnancy.
10. Constant peeing. I have had a personal relationship with the toilet and toilet paper since about 10 weeks along. The big difference between this pregnancy and my pregnancy with Adrianna was that I stopped having the urge to pee every hour around the second trimester. I still get up about every half hour now to pee. It's annoying
9. Hunger. Sounds funny but I am tired of being hungry all.the.time. I hate having to cook food for myself 5-6 times a day, not like I make big meals each time but even making a sandwich gets tedious after a while. I always have to make sure I eat before I go anywhere instead of just winging it like I usually do. Annoying
8. Sleep Issues. Whether it is lack of sleep or feeling sleepy, it really interferes with your daily life. Poor Adrianna has to deal with a lethargic mommy all day and poor Joe has to deal with a talkative wife all night because there are very important topics to discuss at 2am...like nursery decor, boiling bottles etc. haha.
7. Waddling. You know, the pregnancy waddle.Even if I don't want to waddle, the pressure I feel on my hips forces me to do so. And most of the time I get the pity look from anyone that watches me waddle while walking with Adrianna...strangers just make an "aww poor you" face and it's awkward.
6. Pubic Bone Pain. I had never experienced this with Adrianna but boy is it painful. Let me explain...the pubic bone is really two bones on each side that meet in the middle and during pregnancy gets soft and ready to separate during child birth. Totally normal. Except for some women, the softening happens too early and the bones are very soft and begin separating a tiny bit way before delivery. The minute I hit 20 weeks this pain began and let me tell you; when you have to brace yourself to walk up stairs, turn over in bed, or even worse put on pants because the pain is unbearable, you long for the days where you felt normal and never had aches like this.
5. Anxiety. I have been nervous about this pregnancy since the moment I found out I was pregnant. It got worse when we found out we were expecting twins. I had a hard time feeling happy about my pregnancy and I tried really hard to enjoy this special time. I would blog, take pictures of my growing belly, but even though the positive comments were good to read from friends on social media like Facebook or Instagram, none made me feel happy. I figured if I expose my pregnancy to the world that it would feel more real in my mind. It didn't really work out that way but I am so glad I have documented so many details of this pregnancy. I prayed to hit the 12 week mark. I prayed to hit viability at 24 weeks, I prayed to hit 30 weeks and here I am now praying that they are healthy enough to be born soon since I am on hospital bed rest and baby A is not growing so well. I am currently praying baby A makes it through all of this scary unknown. I hate unknowns. I trust my OB, she reassures me that baby A is doing well and that she would not let anything happen to her. I have to let go and trust in others and in God, I have had to do this throughout the whole pregnancy and I am ready to stop being anxious.
4. All of the attention. Not from friends and family, more so the attention from strangers. People I don't know feel the need to comment on how I must be ready to pop, on how my daughter is going to be jealous, on how I shouldn't be lifting this or doing that, how twins are so hard and double the work and how I will be super busy blah blah blah. All of this coming from friends and family is not annoying, this coming from strangers is annoying. One other thing is also just being the center of attention within my family as well. I love how much they care and how happy they all are but I have always hated being the center of attention in a baby shower, heck I hated that feeling during my own wedding! I'm just a fairly shy person, though most people don't see that about me. I try to work through my shyness and I force myself into social situations where there are people I may not know. I am much less shy than I was a number of years ago.
3. All of the doctor appointments! I see an OB, endocrinologist, nutritionist, get lab work done monthly and sometimes twice a month, maternal fetal medicine (high risk OB) and all of these range from every two weeks to every month. Sometimes I have appointments with one of these every week and end up at an appointment 2-3 times a week for a full month. It is a lot to handle. Plus, I have to take Adrianna along most times. She behaves pretty well but it is a lot of work. Especially if one of these appointments is early in the morning, like at 8am. I am ready to be done seeing a doctor for myself. I know my babies will have a ton of appointments in their first few weeks and months but I can handle that....I think.
2. Feeling BIG! I can't get off the couch without rolling off first, tie my shoes or put on my socks without help or a huge struggle, stand for long periods of time, talk without getting out of breath (yes talking makes me have to catch my breath), walk for long periods of time, eat without feeling sooooo full almost immediately, shave comfortably in the shower (worst thing ever! some parts I can't even reach, yikes!), even trying to wipe after using the bathroom is near impossible (don't worry, I make every attempt to do this successfully and I haven't failed yet lol). It makes you feel helpless. My belly is much bigger than with Adrianna so these things are much more noticeable. I am on bed rest currently because of preterm labor, I am pretty sure it is because my uterus is so big my body is confused and thinks I am full term.
1. The number one thing I will not miss about being pregnant is....I don't really have one. I realize that all of the things I listed are horrible and have made these past 8 months hard and uncomfortable. The truth is, I WILL miss being pregnant. I feel like I have been jipped(sp?) because I will never experience a full term pregnancy, or an 8 lb baby, or the feeling of having a baby placed right on your chest right after that last excruciating push. Ok, many of you who have experienced the 8 lb baby and going past your due date must think I am crazy but I promise you...if you ever experience pregnancy ending sooner than expected you will know just how it feels to miss not having a baby in you when you thought you had just a few more weeks of kicks and jolts within left....a few more weeks just you and your baby and you don't have to share them. It is so much easier to care for a baby within than to care for them when they are born, at least that is my opinion. I may be done with this pregnancy mentally, so over bed rest and ready to meet my twinkies, but a part of me is very sad that it went by so fast and I don't feel like I got the chance to fully savor my last pregnancy ever. This will likely be the last time I will experience growing a life from within. I will, however, continue to plead my case to my husband because I am crazy enough to be contemplating a #4 even though #2&3 aren't even here yet. I LOVE to HATE being pregnant.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Eventful few days
I just wanted to jot down some of what has happened in the last few days. It has been a crazy turn of events, I could never imagine this would be the way my Monday morning would begin.
Lets start with the week of April 22nd. We were preparing for our last trip to NY so I was busy cleaning a bit, running errands and packing. We were due to leave on that Wednesday. On Tuesday I decided I would go to Target to do a little shopping for my hospital bag...ya know, just in case I went into labor while in NY. It was my biggest fear. I stocked up on essentials and later that night packed everything in my overnight bag along with a baby picture of Adrianna, so I could compare her to her sisters when they are born...like going down memory lane :) The week and weekend came and went without much excitement. On Sunday my nephew had his first birthday party and we were also due to go home the same day. During the party, where I spent most of the day sitting, I had a couple of really painful contractions. They were a little unnerving but I refused to let anyone know I was in pain. I did not want to go to the hospital in NY, besides I had an appointment with my MFM doctor the next day. I made through the car ride home without anymore contractions, well I had some but they were about 15-20 minutes apart and didn't hurt at all...more like Braxton Hicks. That night we arrived home late and after unpacking the car we promptly collapsed on our nice comfy bed. We did take my mom with us, considering I was told that I should start taking it easy and I needed help with Adrianna. At around 1AM I began to cough, choking on my own stomach acid (always wonderful) and then it happened...I threw up all over my bathroom! I aimed for the bath tub, don't ask. After cleaning I fell asleep and woke up around 6AM with stomach pain. It was more muscle pain than anything, understandable since I blew chunks the night before. I ate breakfast, did a little craft shopping and headed to my MFM appointment.
I had my scan, nothing out of the ordinary. It took about 2 hours which always happens when I have scans. It is hard to get two babies to cooperate in an ultrasound! After my scan I always have an internal cervical scan to check the length of my cervix. When I saw the numbers on the screen, I knew it was not good news. The doctor comes in and talks a little about how baby A is still measuring a little smaller than her sister and how she has lower fluid levels as well. The doctor mentioned that my cervix was measuring smaller than the previous week and asked if I had been having contractions. I said yes. She decided it would be best to send me to labor and delivery so I could be monitored for a few hours just in case. Well, thank goodness she decided to do that! When I arrived at L&D, I was put on monitors, given water and told to just hang tight. After a few minutes the doctor came in to check my cervix for any change since my cervical length was short. I was one fingertip dilated, barely 1 cm. About a half an hour went by and I was feeling contractions. They were about 10-15 minutes apart and were a little painful. The nurse would come in and would ask whether or not I was having a contraction, kind of like testing me, and I was right every time. They decided to check me again and I was 1-2 cm dilated! My OB was called and told that I was dilating. She said she would come in and check me in about an hour. In the mean time I was given an IV and was drinking more water as well. Still contracting, this time more like every 7-10 minutes. By the time my OB arrived and checked me I was 3 cm dilated! This was way more progress than they were comfortable with! I am only 31 weeks and their NICU doesn't care for babies younger than 32 weeks. It was then that the decision was made to take me by ambulance to Tufts Medical Center in Boston in case I delivered the babies that night.
The ambulance ride was quite interesting. It was like feeling helpless and defenseless. I appreciate all the work EMT and paramedics do, it is a scary job! There was a new guy on the ambulance training and he was being quizzed while we were on our way to Boston. He was asked what the first major concern would be if I had to deliver my twins in the ambulance. That poor 22 year old's face went pale white, it was kind of funny (only because I most certainly was not in danger of delivering on the ambulance). Apparently the correct answer would be that they would need to call for two more ambulances because they don't have the capacity to care for 3 humans out of one ambulance. Good to know. Well we arrived at Tufts and I was taken to a dark and scary L&D room where I was quickly settled and given 2 mL drip of magnesium sulfate (a strong muscle relaxer) to try and stop contractions. It was not working! I was contracting every 5 minutes and was at this point 5-6 cm dilates and 50% effaced with +1 presentation (head of baby A was right at my cervix)! Scary!!! My drip was upped to 2.5 (I could barely see straight) and prep was being done to deliver me. I was going to have these babies that night at the rate I was going. After an hour I actually began to contract less. It became less and less until finally I only felt slight tightening, sort of like the BH I was having that did not really call for concern. My labor was successfully stopped overnight, at 5-6 cm dilated. Amazing. This is where I am now...this far dilated, +3 station (Baby A's head is way back up into the uterus) and still about 50% effaced (thinned out). I was taken off of the magnesium drip last night at around 5pm. It really wont have much of an affect on stopping labor progression any more at this point and since it makes you feel horrible (heart palpitations, nasal drip, hot flashes, constipation possible fluid in lungs, inability to eat or walk well, nausea) it makes no sense to continue being on the medicine. If I go into labor before 32 weeks again they will start it again only because apparently it has a positive effect on baby brain development when faced with pre term delivery. I was also given 2 steroid shots to help mature the lungs of the babies, which I am now past the 24 hour window of its fullest effect. This means that I have officially done all I can do to give my babies the best chance of a healthy start to life. I have met some wonderful nurses in my short stay here and have even heard two babies being born. Made me cry of course. I was moved to an ante-partum room where I am able to shower, move around freely and watch TV. I can't leave the L&D floor or walk around the halls because of how far dilated I am. I also will likely not be sent home if I don't have contractions because the chances of me lasting more than a week at the point I am in is very extremely rare. I am upset that my OB cannot deliver me. I am upset I can't deliver at Winchester Hospital. I am upset that the nurses and doctors I feel most comfortable with, the main reason we wanted to have another baby while stationed here at Hanscom, will in fact not be caring for me in these last few weeks of my pregnancy. This is just another plan from God. A test to see how resilient we are maybe? If we can handle pre-term twins in a setting that is unfamiliar and a little scary we can handle packing, moving to VA, potty training Adrianna, and settling into our new home with the twins in tow with no issues. Please, let this be the last test of our resilience, I don't know how much more we can handle and I don't want to find out. But maybe, hopefully a few weeks out but looks like sometime next week, I will be posting a welcome to the world entry for Victoria and Isabella! Scary, am I ready to be a mother again?
Lets start with the week of April 22nd. We were preparing for our last trip to NY so I was busy cleaning a bit, running errands and packing. We were due to leave on that Wednesday. On Tuesday I decided I would go to Target to do a little shopping for my hospital bag...ya know, just in case I went into labor while in NY. It was my biggest fear. I stocked up on essentials and later that night packed everything in my overnight bag along with a baby picture of Adrianna, so I could compare her to her sisters when they are born...like going down memory lane :) The week and weekend came and went without much excitement. On Sunday my nephew had his first birthday party and we were also due to go home the same day. During the party, where I spent most of the day sitting, I had a couple of really painful contractions. They were a little unnerving but I refused to let anyone know I was in pain. I did not want to go to the hospital in NY, besides I had an appointment with my MFM doctor the next day. I made through the car ride home without anymore contractions, well I had some but they were about 15-20 minutes apart and didn't hurt at all...more like Braxton Hicks. That night we arrived home late and after unpacking the car we promptly collapsed on our nice comfy bed. We did take my mom with us, considering I was told that I should start taking it easy and I needed help with Adrianna. At around 1AM I began to cough, choking on my own stomach acid (always wonderful) and then it happened...I threw up all over my bathroom! I aimed for the bath tub, don't ask. After cleaning I fell asleep and woke up around 6AM with stomach pain. It was more muscle pain than anything, understandable since I blew chunks the night before. I ate breakfast, did a little craft shopping and headed to my MFM appointment.
I had my scan, nothing out of the ordinary. It took about 2 hours which always happens when I have scans. It is hard to get two babies to cooperate in an ultrasound! After my scan I always have an internal cervical scan to check the length of my cervix. When I saw the numbers on the screen, I knew it was not good news. The doctor comes in and talks a little about how baby A is still measuring a little smaller than her sister and how she has lower fluid levels as well. The doctor mentioned that my cervix was measuring smaller than the previous week and asked if I had been having contractions. I said yes. She decided it would be best to send me to labor and delivery so I could be monitored for a few hours just in case. Well, thank goodness she decided to do that! When I arrived at L&D, I was put on monitors, given water and told to just hang tight. After a few minutes the doctor came in to check my cervix for any change since my cervical length was short. I was one fingertip dilated, barely 1 cm. About a half an hour went by and I was feeling contractions. They were about 10-15 minutes apart and were a little painful. The nurse would come in and would ask whether or not I was having a contraction, kind of like testing me, and I was right every time. They decided to check me again and I was 1-2 cm dilated! My OB was called and told that I was dilating. She said she would come in and check me in about an hour. In the mean time I was given an IV and was drinking more water as well. Still contracting, this time more like every 7-10 minutes. By the time my OB arrived and checked me I was 3 cm dilated! This was way more progress than they were comfortable with! I am only 31 weeks and their NICU doesn't care for babies younger than 32 weeks. It was then that the decision was made to take me by ambulance to Tufts Medical Center in Boston in case I delivered the babies that night.
The ambulance ride was quite interesting. It was like feeling helpless and defenseless. I appreciate all the work EMT and paramedics do, it is a scary job! There was a new guy on the ambulance training and he was being quizzed while we were on our way to Boston. He was asked what the first major concern would be if I had to deliver my twins in the ambulance. That poor 22 year old's face went pale white, it was kind of funny (only because I most certainly was not in danger of delivering on the ambulance). Apparently the correct answer would be that they would need to call for two more ambulances because they don't have the capacity to care for 3 humans out of one ambulance. Good to know. Well we arrived at Tufts and I was taken to a dark and scary L&D room where I was quickly settled and given 2 mL drip of magnesium sulfate (a strong muscle relaxer) to try and stop contractions. It was not working! I was contracting every 5 minutes and was at this point 5-6 cm dilates and 50% effaced with +1 presentation (head of baby A was right at my cervix)! Scary!!! My drip was upped to 2.5 (I could barely see straight) and prep was being done to deliver me. I was going to have these babies that night at the rate I was going. After an hour I actually began to contract less. It became less and less until finally I only felt slight tightening, sort of like the BH I was having that did not really call for concern. My labor was successfully stopped overnight, at 5-6 cm dilated. Amazing. This is where I am now...this far dilated, +3 station (Baby A's head is way back up into the uterus) and still about 50% effaced (thinned out). I was taken off of the magnesium drip last night at around 5pm. It really wont have much of an affect on stopping labor progression any more at this point and since it makes you feel horrible (heart palpitations, nasal drip, hot flashes, constipation possible fluid in lungs, inability to eat or walk well, nausea) it makes no sense to continue being on the medicine. If I go into labor before 32 weeks again they will start it again only because apparently it has a positive effect on baby brain development when faced with pre term delivery. I was also given 2 steroid shots to help mature the lungs of the babies, which I am now past the 24 hour window of its fullest effect. This means that I have officially done all I can do to give my babies the best chance of a healthy start to life. I have met some wonderful nurses in my short stay here and have even heard two babies being born. Made me cry of course. I was moved to an ante-partum room where I am able to shower, move around freely and watch TV. I can't leave the L&D floor or walk around the halls because of how far dilated I am. I also will likely not be sent home if I don't have contractions because the chances of me lasting more than a week at the point I am in is very extremely rare. I am upset that my OB cannot deliver me. I am upset I can't deliver at Winchester Hospital. I am upset that the nurses and doctors I feel most comfortable with, the main reason we wanted to have another baby while stationed here at Hanscom, will in fact not be caring for me in these last few weeks of my pregnancy. This is just another plan from God. A test to see how resilient we are maybe? If we can handle pre-term twins in a setting that is unfamiliar and a little scary we can handle packing, moving to VA, potty training Adrianna, and settling into our new home with the twins in tow with no issues. Please, let this be the last test of our resilience, I don't know how much more we can handle and I don't want to find out. But maybe, hopefully a few weeks out but looks like sometime next week, I will be posting a welcome to the world entry for Victoria and Isabella! Scary, am I ready to be a mother again?
Monday, April 22, 2013
Look how far I've come
When I think back to the losses we experienced last year, I still can't believe I have made it through all of that with my sanity almost intact. Sure my anxiety is through the roof some days, but we all have bad days. What is even more amazing is that I am 30 weeks into this pregnancy with the twins. I couldn't be more thankful for this gift God has given me and my little family. I know it has been quite a while since I have blogged, but I haven't had much happen that is blog worthy really. Which is a good thing, this pregnancy has been fairly uneventful with a few tiny hiccups here and there.
At around 23 weeks or so, I started having Braxton Hicks contractions (non painful false contractions). With each one I had, my heart felt like it would beat very fast. I called the OB, thinking she would just tell me to drink extra water or something but she sent me to get a STAT EKG at the emergency room! Talk about scary! It ended up being nothing and I had no contractions that were being read on the monitor so I was sent home.
26 weeks rolled around and I was still having BH pretty frequently, except this time they came with a pain in the pit of my stomach. It was strange so I called the OB again and was sent to L&D. The contractions were not even registering on the monitor which was a good thing. It ended up I had a horrible UTI, who knew that pain felt like painful contractions ? So after 2 antibiotics, a yeast infection due to said antibiotics (being a girl is rough, and disgusting) and endless amounts of water I finally am UTI free. I still get BH pretty frequently and some are painful! A different kind of painful though, more like tightening pain and cramping which is normal at this stage of pregnancy with twins. Apparently my uterus is irritable. Sounds great.
My 28 week checkup, just like every other check up, starts with BP and urine sample. Then my OB checks the heart rates of the babies and measures my uterus....which at 28 weeks measured in at a whopping 40 weeks. So I am measuring as if I were full term. At 28 weeks. WTF am I going to measure at when I am 33 or 34 weeks, 48 weeks? Is that even possible? I don't want to know. I am 4'11 and have gained like 26 lbs so far. I have no shame in my weight anymore, I am weighing in at 187.5 lbs. I'm sure I will see close to 200 before I give birth. I can't even imagine. In between UTI, peeing every time I sneeze, peeing 20,000 times a day and the dreaded H word most women experience while pregnant (yes hemorrhoids I don't even give a shit that you know that about me...how's that for no filter) revealing that I am 187 lbs doesn't even phase me. Pregnancy is beautiful, and disgusting. I can write more on that after I give birth...did I mention baby B is breech? Thaaats right, I get to be cut open like a friggen science project and have two babies yanked out of my stomach while trying not to pull out one of my organs along with it.
30 weeks today, eviction date is June 19th. It can't come fast enough! Today baby A had low fluid and was measuring a little smaller than her sister, but they are both still healthy. Baby A is 2 lbs 5 oz and baby B is 2 lbs 11 oz. They are busy kicking my bladder, hiding under my ribs and I am pretty sure baby B is trying to poke her feet out of my vagina she kicks my nether regions so hard. If in a year I say I miss being pregnant and want to have another one, remind me how much I love wine and punch me in the stomach so I remember the pain I am in right now with these babies constantly beating up my insides. Please and thank you.
At around 23 weeks or so, I started having Braxton Hicks contractions (non painful false contractions). With each one I had, my heart felt like it would beat very fast. I called the OB, thinking she would just tell me to drink extra water or something but she sent me to get a STAT EKG at the emergency room! Talk about scary! It ended up being nothing and I had no contractions that were being read on the monitor so I was sent home.
26 weeks rolled around and I was still having BH pretty frequently, except this time they came with a pain in the pit of my stomach. It was strange so I called the OB again and was sent to L&D. The contractions were not even registering on the monitor which was a good thing. It ended up I had a horrible UTI, who knew that pain felt like painful contractions ? So after 2 antibiotics, a yeast infection due to said antibiotics (being a girl is rough, and disgusting) and endless amounts of water I finally am UTI free. I still get BH pretty frequently and some are painful! A different kind of painful though, more like tightening pain and cramping which is normal at this stage of pregnancy with twins. Apparently my uterus is irritable. Sounds great.
My 28 week checkup, just like every other check up, starts with BP and urine sample. Then my OB checks the heart rates of the babies and measures my uterus....which at 28 weeks measured in at a whopping 40 weeks. So I am measuring as if I were full term. At 28 weeks. WTF am I going to measure at when I am 33 or 34 weeks, 48 weeks? Is that even possible? I don't want to know. I am 4'11 and have gained like 26 lbs so far. I have no shame in my weight anymore, I am weighing in at 187.5 lbs. I'm sure I will see close to 200 before I give birth. I can't even imagine. In between UTI, peeing every time I sneeze, peeing 20,000 times a day and the dreaded H word most women experience while pregnant (yes hemorrhoids I don't even give a shit that you know that about me...how's that for no filter) revealing that I am 187 lbs doesn't even phase me. Pregnancy is beautiful, and disgusting. I can write more on that after I give birth...did I mention baby B is breech? Thaaats right, I get to be cut open like a friggen science project and have two babies yanked out of my stomach while trying not to pull out one of my organs along with it.
30 weeks today, eviction date is June 19th. It can't come fast enough! Today baby A had low fluid and was measuring a little smaller than her sister, but they are both still healthy. Baby A is 2 lbs 5 oz and baby B is 2 lbs 11 oz. They are busy kicking my bladder, hiding under my ribs and I am pretty sure baby B is trying to poke her feet out of my vagina she kicks my nether regions so hard. If in a year I say I miss being pregnant and want to have another one, remind me how much I love wine and punch me in the stomach so I remember the pain I am in right now with these babies constantly beating up my insides. Please and thank you.
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| 9 weeks |
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| Very large at 29 weeks 5 days |
Monday, February 25, 2013
22 weeks
I can't believe I am 22 weeks pregnant today! We found out a few weeks ago we are expecting two more girls, it's about to be a girlie Dolce household! My husband is a lucky man ;) Lots of people I know are so curious to see how big I have gotten or how big I am getting so here it is:
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| 9 weeks |
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| 13 weeks |
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| 20 weeks |
The answer is clear, I am getting pretty big and still have 3 months to get even bigger! This is fun to see, not so fun to experience. I have had the pleasure of dealing with painful heartburn and my fingertips going numb due to nerve pressure. The twinkies are also both head down, which means pressure in my pelvis and excrutiating pubic bone pain! I'm talking I can't even lift my leg to put pants on pain! And the peeing, oh the peeing. I hate sneezing....use your imagination with that one kids. Pregnancy is not glamorous and twin pregnancy is even less so. I keep all things in perspective though. I have never been happier. I get a huge smile on my face when I get to see the twinkies in an ultrasound. They are so amazing and so darn cute already! Adrianna has started to tell everyone she is going to be a big sister and that momma has two babies in her belly. It is adorable. She cuddles with my belly, she hugs and kisses my belly, and she has felt the babies move already through my belly. She loves this and I am so happy I get to share this experience with her.
I am in a good place mentally. I try not to worry about what I cannot control and I take good care of myself. I know the babies will be fine. We have slowly started to buy a few things for them too, I bought a bouncy seat and boppy and have been gifted cute outfits. All of this has made me very excited. I day dream constantly about what they will look like, when they will be born, what it will be like once they are here. Did I mention we named them as well? Baby A is Victoria Rose and baby B is Isabella Sophia. I have always hated using short names or nick names, but I think I will be allowing myself and others to call them "Vicky" and "Bella." I love their names and can't wait to get monogrammed things with their names on it! My latest maternal fetal medicine ultrasound (high risk OB, perinatologist, are the only ones allowed to do an ultrasound on me) showed that the girls had no abnormalities and were growing great. Baby A is 13 oz and baby B is 12 oz. It did show that my cervix was opening slightly, it went from 5cm to 3.2cm, which is still in the normal range. I need to be seen March 11th again which is in 2 weeks versus being seen every 4 weeks. They want to be sure I don't continue to open, which my Braxton Hicks contractions could be causing. Never a dull moment! So I have been making it a point to put my feet up as much as possible and to rest when I feel I need it. I do not need to go into early labor or deal with the stress of bed rest, which ironically is suppose to be less stressful....yea maybe if you don't already have a child that needs your attention! All in all, I'd say I have been doing well so far. Adrianna is as cute as ever and learning new things every day and my wonderful hubby doesn't have a business trip planned for quite a while, that's always nice! Hopefully my next blog will be about our house hunting success and I will be sharing pictures of our new home in DC (or Virginia or Maryland). Here are some stats to leave you with:
I am in a good place mentally. I try not to worry about what I cannot control and I take good care of myself. I know the babies will be fine. We have slowly started to buy a few things for them too, I bought a bouncy seat and boppy and have been gifted cute outfits. All of this has made me very excited. I day dream constantly about what they will look like, when they will be born, what it will be like once they are here. Did I mention we named them as well? Baby A is Victoria Rose and baby B is Isabella Sophia. I have always hated using short names or nick names, but I think I will be allowing myself and others to call them "Vicky" and "Bella." I love their names and can't wait to get monogrammed things with their names on it! My latest maternal fetal medicine ultrasound (high risk OB, perinatologist, are the only ones allowed to do an ultrasound on me) showed that the girls had no abnormalities and were growing great. Baby A is 13 oz and baby B is 12 oz. It did show that my cervix was opening slightly, it went from 5cm to 3.2cm, which is still in the normal range. I need to be seen March 11th again which is in 2 weeks versus being seen every 4 weeks. They want to be sure I don't continue to open, which my Braxton Hicks contractions could be causing. Never a dull moment! So I have been making it a point to put my feet up as much as possible and to rest when I feel I need it. I do not need to go into early labor or deal with the stress of bed rest, which ironically is suppose to be less stressful....yea maybe if you don't already have a child that needs your attention! All in all, I'd say I have been doing well so far. Adrianna is as cute as ever and learning new things every day and my wonderful hubby doesn't have a business trip planned for quite a while, that's always nice! Hopefully my next blog will be about our house hunting success and I will be sharing pictures of our new home in DC (or Virginia or Maryland). Here are some stats to leave you with:
How far along? 22 weeks. Measuring at 28 weeks, however. Huge!
Maternity clothes? LOL! Most likely for a few months after delivery as well
Stretch Marks? Check!
Sleep? I nap like a champ and snore my life away at night. Besides being woken up by my inscesant need to be and the acid burning through my esophogus, I'd say I sleep pretty well for a pregnant woman.
Movement? They are both head down and press their legs against my ribs. I feel them more and more every day!
Genders? Twin GIRLS!
Weight Gain: Check! LOL I have no shame in admitting that I have gained a good 24 lbs so far. I just wont tell you what number exactly the scale says, that scares me.
What I miss? Not feeling out of breath just from getting up off the couch
Food cravings? Check.
Food aversions? I love it all
Labor signs? Braxton Hicks. Nothing alarming
Belly button in or out? In. Stretched as wide as I have ever seen it
What I’m looking forward to? I take it one day at a time. Savor every moment
Milestones? They both weigh almost 1 pound each!
Things I wish people knew: I am not yet in my 3rd trimester. I can't tell which baby is which when they move, they are both so close together. I don't know how to answer the "when are you due" question. I don't have morning sickness. Nothing is worse with this pregnancy than with a singleton pregnancy other than I am more tired and am gaining weight faster this time around.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Preschool
I have always thought that as soon as my child was old enough, she would go to preschool no questions asked. Until I got too close to that point. I am not even sure where my apprehension stems from. could it possibly have to do with the fact that this would mean she really REALLY wouldn't be my little baby anymore? Could it be the recent tragic events of Sandy Hook elementary and other similarly scary situations happening in schools throughout the US(of course the world as well, but we don't plan on leaving the country anytime soon). Whatever it is, it is there. I am terrified.
A few months ago, when I took Adrianna to her two year checkup, her pediatrician was going through the typical questions...does she climb up stairs one foot at a time and can she do a couple without holding onto anything? Does she speak in two or three word sentences? Does she recognize some colors? Does she know more than 40 words? The pediatrician didn't need me to answer many of these because Adrianna was demonstrating her abilities the whole time. I already knew she was a bright child, and that her vocabulary was extensive for her age. After her initial checkup, the doctor told me that she is more than ready for preschool and gave me her immunization chart in case I wanted to enroll her sometime within the next few months. OH.MY.GOD. Preschool???!!!! I had thought about it and had discussed it with Joe but for someone else to point out the reality that my baby girl was almost ready for preschool freaked me out! Ever since then I have been thinking about what it would be like and I almost end up weeping in a corner with her cuddled in my arms....and by almost I mean this has actually happened more than once. I can't imagine not being there to oversee her growth and to protect her from kids that can be mean. I can't imagine not being the one to teach her. I know homeschooling isn't right for my family, but I have considered it. So here I am, facing the potential of preschool. By September, my baby will be in preschool. I can enroll her earlier but I want to wait until she is 3. I need to buy myself more time to prepare myself. If I were to take her tomorrow, she would have no problem going into the class and could care less if I left her there by herself. She is soooo independent that it kills me. Just cry for mama for once!!! Is that too much to ask :( She knows her ABCs, counts to 20, can pretend to read a book based on interpretation of the pictures in the book, she can do puzzles and recognizes all shapes even trapezoids and diamonds, she pretend plays, and she is so ready to begin. I don't know where the time goes but it is going way too fast.
It makes me so anxious that I have to put her safety in someone else's hands. I have to drop her off in the mornings and trust that she will be there when I pick her up, safe and sound. Sure, parents have been doing this for years and I am sure with similar worries but things like kidnappings and school shootings are very real and make this transition all too worrisome for me. I know I will let go and just send her off to school one day. I have to let her grow into a person away from her mommy and daddy. I can't hold on forever. I just can't help but think that this will just be one of many times I will have to let her go, it is going to snowball from preschool to high school to college to having to watch her walk down the isle one day and give herself to her future husband. I'm telling you, I'm not crazy people. I know how this works. It starts with preschool then BAM! She moves out on her own. And I can't stop it. All I can do is savor each and every single second of the time I have with her, just us. No siblings (yet!) no sharing with anyone else. Just her and me, and Toy Story...which I will watch as many times as she wants me to without complaining, if it means getting to hold her close for one more day. Just her and me.
It makes me so anxious that I have to put her safety in someone else's hands. I have to drop her off in the mornings and trust that she will be there when I pick her up, safe and sound. Sure, parents have been doing this for years and I am sure with similar worries but things like kidnappings and school shootings are very real and make this transition all too worrisome for me. I know I will let go and just send her off to school one day. I have to let her grow into a person away from her mommy and daddy. I can't hold on forever. I just can't help but think that this will just be one of many times I will have to let her go, it is going to snowball from preschool to high school to college to having to watch her walk down the isle one day and give herself to her future husband. I'm telling you, I'm not crazy people. I know how this works. It starts with preschool then BAM! She moves out on her own. And I can't stop it. All I can do is savor each and every single second of the time I have with her, just us. No siblings (yet!) no sharing with anyone else. Just her and me, and Toy Story...which I will watch as many times as she wants me to without complaining, if it means getting to hold her close for one more day. Just her and me.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Pregnant with a 2 1/2 year old
Adrianna is officially, in 2 days, 2 1/2 years old. In 6 months she will be three and we will be a family of 5! It is so funny to think that in just 6 short months our little family will undergo so many changes. I love it =)
Adrianna updates:
She is one spunky toddler! She loves so many things; movies, coloring/drawing, her blanket and her stuffed kitty, and her mommy and daddy. We love her so much as well! She has been talking so much lately. her speech is actually amazing. She uses full sentences even better now, she pretend plays which is adorable, and she wont stop saying 'mama' all.day. long! She will go into her play room and make "food" for her kitty and for her baby. I overhear her saying "open up, eat it all! It good?" She copies us so much! The other night I was putting her to bed and I told her to tuck me in instead because mama was tired. She tucked me in and then said "look at me! no get out of bed, close your eyes, go night night. Look at my eyes, do you understand?" It was hilarious! I tell her that often before kissing her goodnight because she has the tendency to get out of bed and play in her room or walk to our bedroom. There are so many other things she does, she is growing up faster than ever.
We talk to her about being a big sister all the time. I ask her how many babies mommy has in her belly and she says two very proudly! She points to my belly, gives it a kiss, points to my boobs and says mommy has babies in there then points to daddy's belly and says he has babies too. Pretty funny, right? Not when she points to my boobs in public and says my babies are in there! I think she mistakes the word boobie for baby (when she asks what my boobs are I tell her they are mommy's boobies, trying to use as close to accurate anatomy names as possible). She hugs my belly all the time and becomes more and more independent every day. Now if only she would potty train! We are working on that. As far as her stats go, we haven't been to the dr since her 2 year checkup, but I know she has grown in height and weight since then. She fits into 2t sized shirts, 18 month and sometimes 24 month pants, and wears size 7 shoes. My little stinker is finally gaining weight to make it to 24 month pants! I don't know how since she still doesn't eat as much as I would like. She loves breakfast, instant oatmeal made with milk is a favorite of hers as well as bagels (which she insists cannot be cut at all). She snacks the rest of the time, sometimes I can convince her to eat lunch but I almost always lose that battle. Apple sauce pouches and buddy fruit pouches are my saving grace to get any sort of nutrition in her as far as fruit goes. I have lost the veggie battle for now. She loves milk!! we had to cut her milk intake to when she wakes up, at nap time and before bed. She could easily drink 6 cups a day if we let her! She sneaks in the kitchen and grabs cookies, goldfish, gummies and occasionally chocolate off of my candy dish on the dining room table. She has a serious sweet tooth...explains why she is the sweetest 2 year old I know =) We can't get enough of her. She does sleep in a toddler bed, we transitioned her when she turned 2. When we move to our next duty station we will get her a bigger bed along with her own bedroom furniture which happens to be MY old bedroom furniture growing up. It is so precious to know my daughter will use MY dressers from when I was growing up. They are a beautiful light colored wood with painted pink roses as accents. We will still get her a new bed, preferably a full sized bed. This will hopefully help us with the dent the twins will make in our budget. Do you know how much you have to get two of when getting ready for twins? Neither do I, so when I find out I'll let you know.
My Twin Pregnancy:
Adrianna updates:
She is one spunky toddler! She loves so many things; movies, coloring/drawing, her blanket and her stuffed kitty, and her mommy and daddy. We love her so much as well! She has been talking so much lately. her speech is actually amazing. She uses full sentences even better now, she pretend plays which is adorable, and she wont stop saying 'mama' all.day. long! She will go into her play room and make "food" for her kitty and for her baby. I overhear her saying "open up, eat it all! It good?" She copies us so much! The other night I was putting her to bed and I told her to tuck me in instead because mama was tired. She tucked me in and then said "look at me! no get out of bed, close your eyes, go night night. Look at my eyes, do you understand?" It was hilarious! I tell her that often before kissing her goodnight because she has the tendency to get out of bed and play in her room or walk to our bedroom. There are so many other things she does, she is growing up faster than ever.
We talk to her about being a big sister all the time. I ask her how many babies mommy has in her belly and she says two very proudly! She points to my belly, gives it a kiss, points to my boobs and says mommy has babies in there then points to daddy's belly and says he has babies too. Pretty funny, right? Not when she points to my boobs in public and says my babies are in there! I think she mistakes the word boobie for baby (when she asks what my boobs are I tell her they are mommy's boobies, trying to use as close to accurate anatomy names as possible). She hugs my belly all the time and becomes more and more independent every day. Now if only she would potty train! We are working on that. As far as her stats go, we haven't been to the dr since her 2 year checkup, but I know she has grown in height and weight since then. She fits into 2t sized shirts, 18 month and sometimes 24 month pants, and wears size 7 shoes. My little stinker is finally gaining weight to make it to 24 month pants! I don't know how since she still doesn't eat as much as I would like. She loves breakfast, instant oatmeal made with milk is a favorite of hers as well as bagels (which she insists cannot be cut at all). She snacks the rest of the time, sometimes I can convince her to eat lunch but I almost always lose that battle. Apple sauce pouches and buddy fruit pouches are my saving grace to get any sort of nutrition in her as far as fruit goes. I have lost the veggie battle for now. She loves milk!! we had to cut her milk intake to when she wakes up, at nap time and before bed. She could easily drink 6 cups a day if we let her! She sneaks in the kitchen and grabs cookies, goldfish, gummies and occasionally chocolate off of my candy dish on the dining room table. She has a serious sweet tooth...explains why she is the sweetest 2 year old I know =) We can't get enough of her. She does sleep in a toddler bed, we transitioned her when she turned 2. When we move to our next duty station we will get her a bigger bed along with her own bedroom furniture which happens to be MY old bedroom furniture growing up. It is so precious to know my daughter will use MY dressers from when I was growing up. They are a beautiful light colored wood with painted pink roses as accents. We will still get her a new bed, preferably a full sized bed. This will hopefully help us with the dent the twins will make in our budget. Do you know how much you have to get two of when getting ready for twins? Neither do I, so when I find out I'll let you know.
My Twin Pregnancy:
How far along? 15 week exactly. I feel more like 24 weeks and look like I am pushing into my thrid trimester. It's all for the babies!
Maternity clothes? Tops and jeans. My boobs still fit into my bra thankfully. I had to buy a maternity coat which I did not have to do with Adrianna
Weight Gain? Yeah. I’m supposed to gain anywhere from 40-56lbs. Most of it during the first two trimesters. I am currently at a whopping 16 lb gain...Holy crap. I weigh what I weighed when I was induced with Adrianna. Scary
Stretch Marks? Adrianna left a few and being that this is actually my 5th pregnancy (3 miscarriages) I have plenty of these nasty tiger stripes
Sleep? I can nap like nobody's business but when it comes to overnight sleep, that has been interrupted by 2-3 bathroom trips and weird vivid dreams. My belly is also getting to the point where it is hard to find a comfortable position. reflux also keeps me up.
Movement? Oh I feel them. They are pretty active in there. I still feel baby B more than baby A
Genders? We find out on February 1st!
What I miss? My motivation.
Food cravings? I mainly just want to eat but nothing sounds good ever to me.
Food aversions? The biggest has to be chicken nuggets, tenders and wings. Second to that is anything with ground beef. The smell is just awful
Labor signs? No. Hoping it stays that way for a long time.
Belly button in or out? In. Never popped with Adrianna. It just became a large cave. So this time…
What I’m looking forward to? Our ultrasound on feb 1st, hitting the 24 week milestone when if by chance I go into labor the viability rate is now decent for the babies. I hope to god I don't have to endure this. I still pray every day
Milestones? Hitting the second trimester. Hearing the heartbeats by doppler at my 13 week OB appointment
Things I wish people knew: Twins run in my husband's side of the family, but that doesn't matter when it comes to conceiving twins spontaneously. It follows the woman's genealogy. Twins do not run in my family at all....not even in distant family that we know of. This was a complete and utter surprise...a very welcomed surprise. Also, I will always feel a little apprehensive when I talk about the babies. In the back of my mind I am always thinking that something might happen if I talk about them too much or show too much excitement over being pregnant with twins.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I am not complaining, but if I did...
I need to release all of this. I told myself I would not complain this pregnancy because I have wanted it for such a long time. I appreciate every single moment so far and I am loving it! Yet, I have the annoying little symptoms and daily issues that just plain annoy me! Maybe some of you can relate, if you are or have been pregnant. Maybe you think I am being unappreciative and should just shut up and be glad I am pregnant. Maybe I don't care what anyone thinks because here goes:
-Eating. I love to eat. I hate to make myself something to eat or find something to eat nearly every hour. If I spend an hour or more without munching on something my blood sugar does a nose dive and I feel like crap. If this has ever happened to you, you know just how crappy it makes you feel.
-Drinking water. From week 8 to now and I am sure for the rest of the pregnancy I have been extremely thirsty. I drink water constantly. I pee constantly. I am so tired of feeling like my uterus is going to fall right out of me when I walk when I haven't used the bathroom for half an hour. I pee 2 times a night and can't fall back to sleep after both times. WTF? Once at 11pm and once at around 3am....same time every single night since week 10. I am 14 weeks now and I am thinking I will get no relief because I am pregnant with twins and my uterus is the size of a watermelon. Or so it feels.
-Sleep. Why is it that pregnancy makes me feel like I took a sleeping pill and only slept for an hour. It sucks to go about my day groggy and longing for a nap. Do you know how hard it is to talk myself into leaving the house or even showering. It is annoying. Yea yea I am growing 2 babies, but oh my god I just want a little bit of energy at some point during the day. I don't remember feeling this bad with Adrianna...I also didn't have a toddler to chase after at the time.
-Dry skin. Oh do I hate dry skin. During pregnancy, my skin gets super dry and itchy. It happened with Adrianna and is happening again now. Nothing I use helps soothe it. Someone please recommend something because I am out of ideas!
-Pregnancy glow. I don't have it. I can't fake it.
-Hair. My hair is greasy and so is my face. I can't seem to keep up with the demand to wash it enough to keep it looking shiny and pretty. Speaking of hair, a wonderful side effect of pregnancy is reduction of loss of hair. Hormones also make "other" hair grow faster. My legs, my eyebrows, even a surprise chin hair or two. WHY?? It is horrible! All I am saying is thank goodness it is winter, feel free to throw up because I haven't shaved my legs in like 5 weeks. and I don't care...I'm on pelvic rest anyway so no extra curricular activities....if you know what I mean. Joy.
My head always hurts, my back always hurts, I am always out of breath. My clothes are too tight and I feel like a whale.
Just some annoying things from today.
1. Why would you make an OB office feel like hell. Heat wise. I mean it was 1000 degrees in there today. There are pregnant women in there for goodness sake!
2. There should be water dispensers at all OB offices. No exceptions. Period.
3. If I don't look at the scale, don't tell me how much I weigh. Ugh...
4. Patients shouldn't complain about waiting too long to be seen when they aren't pregnant yet decide to choose an OBGYN instead of a regular GYN. (this woman was not of child bearing age anymore). Wait your freaking turn. I have shit to talk about with the Dr. And I have been here waiting longer than you. Don't roll your eyes at my 2 year old either because if Joe wasn't there to calm me down I would have had a few choice words for her....dehydrated and sweating and tired is not a recipe for a happy me.
5. If you are stopped at a light and there is a space for those who would like to bear right to be able to do so, give room. You have a car length in front of you and can clearly see my blinker. Don't be an asshole.
I couldn't be more thrilled that I am pregnant. So many things out weigh the bad and the annoying. Sometimes you have to stop pretending that everything is wonderful and you feel amazing while pregnant. Talk about the over active sweat glands, the greasy hair, the constipation (oh it happens. You know it does admit it!). Maybe some women love being pregnant. Maybe some women work extra hard to look immaculate while pregnant so people can say 'wow, pregnancy really agrees with you, you look better than ever!' That's not me. Don't tell me that from behind you can't even tell that I am pregnant or that I am all belly. You are full of shit. Don't ask me how I will have room to carry these babies because I don't know the freakin' answer. Don't feel bad if you have said any of this to me already...I promise I still love you :) Today was just a day to get all of this off of my chest.
Complaining doesn't mean you lose sight of the important job you are doing, growing a little miracle. It just means sometimes...just sometimes you can get it all off your chest.
Best part of my day? I got to hear both of my babies heart beats. Healthy heart beats. I am so glad that all is going well. Today, shit just got real. This is really happening. Twins.
-Eating. I love to eat. I hate to make myself something to eat or find something to eat nearly every hour. If I spend an hour or more without munching on something my blood sugar does a nose dive and I feel like crap. If this has ever happened to you, you know just how crappy it makes you feel.
-Drinking water. From week 8 to now and I am sure for the rest of the pregnancy I have been extremely thirsty. I drink water constantly. I pee constantly. I am so tired of feeling like my uterus is going to fall right out of me when I walk when I haven't used the bathroom for half an hour. I pee 2 times a night and can't fall back to sleep after both times. WTF? Once at 11pm and once at around 3am....same time every single night since week 10. I am 14 weeks now and I am thinking I will get no relief because I am pregnant with twins and my uterus is the size of a watermelon. Or so it feels.
-Sleep. Why is it that pregnancy makes me feel like I took a sleeping pill and only slept for an hour. It sucks to go about my day groggy and longing for a nap. Do you know how hard it is to talk myself into leaving the house or even showering. It is annoying. Yea yea I am growing 2 babies, but oh my god I just want a little bit of energy at some point during the day. I don't remember feeling this bad with Adrianna...I also didn't have a toddler to chase after at the time.
-Dry skin. Oh do I hate dry skin. During pregnancy, my skin gets super dry and itchy. It happened with Adrianna and is happening again now. Nothing I use helps soothe it. Someone please recommend something because I am out of ideas!
-Pregnancy glow. I don't have it. I can't fake it.
-Hair. My hair is greasy and so is my face. I can't seem to keep up with the demand to wash it enough to keep it looking shiny and pretty. Speaking of hair, a wonderful side effect of pregnancy is reduction of loss of hair. Hormones also make "other" hair grow faster. My legs, my eyebrows, even a surprise chin hair or two. WHY?? It is horrible! All I am saying is thank goodness it is winter, feel free to throw up because I haven't shaved my legs in like 5 weeks. and I don't care...I'm on pelvic rest anyway so no extra curricular activities....if you know what I mean. Joy.
My head always hurts, my back always hurts, I am always out of breath. My clothes are too tight and I feel like a whale.
Just some annoying things from today.
1. Why would you make an OB office feel like hell. Heat wise. I mean it was 1000 degrees in there today. There are pregnant women in there for goodness sake!
2. There should be water dispensers at all OB offices. No exceptions. Period.
3. If I don't look at the scale, don't tell me how much I weigh. Ugh...
4. Patients shouldn't complain about waiting too long to be seen when they aren't pregnant yet decide to choose an OBGYN instead of a regular GYN. (this woman was not of child bearing age anymore). Wait your freaking turn. I have shit to talk about with the Dr. And I have been here waiting longer than you. Don't roll your eyes at my 2 year old either because if Joe wasn't there to calm me down I would have had a few choice words for her....dehydrated and sweating and tired is not a recipe for a happy me.
5. If you are stopped at a light and there is a space for those who would like to bear right to be able to do so, give room. You have a car length in front of you and can clearly see my blinker. Don't be an asshole.
I couldn't be more thrilled that I am pregnant. So many things out weigh the bad and the annoying. Sometimes you have to stop pretending that everything is wonderful and you feel amazing while pregnant. Talk about the over active sweat glands, the greasy hair, the constipation (oh it happens. You know it does admit it!). Maybe some women love being pregnant. Maybe some women work extra hard to look immaculate while pregnant so people can say 'wow, pregnancy really agrees with you, you look better than ever!' That's not me. Don't tell me that from behind you can't even tell that I am pregnant or that I am all belly. You are full of shit. Don't ask me how I will have room to carry these babies because I don't know the freakin' answer. Don't feel bad if you have said any of this to me already...I promise I still love you :) Today was just a day to get all of this off of my chest.
Complaining doesn't mean you lose sight of the important job you are doing, growing a little miracle. It just means sometimes...just sometimes you can get it all off your chest.
Best part of my day? I got to hear both of my babies heart beats. Healthy heart beats. I am so glad that all is going well. Today, shit just got real. This is really happening. Twins.
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