Busy bee!

I feel like I have been slacking on my blogging. It really isn't my fault at all, we have been so busy lately. Well first we went to NY for my mom's birthday a few weekends ago and got to spend some quality time. It had been about a month since we had seen my parents so it was nice for all of us to be together and for Adrianna to give lots of hugs and kisses and show off all of her new skills she has learned. That same weekend we headed to the Bronx to celebrate Joe's grandfather's 81st birthday! A  bunch of his family got together at a local restaurant and we were able to see some we hardly ever get to see. It is so fun to show Adrianna off to loved ones :) Joe's brother and his wife also flew in from FL for the birthday party and they had some pretty exciting news....they are expecting their first baby in April! We are so excited for them, they will make fabulous parents and that precious little baby is going to be so darn cute! Adrianna loves other children so it is very exciting that she will soon have someone to play with at family functions, they will be just about 2 years apart. Plus I get to be an aunt, which is a very fun realization for me. I can't wait to buy cute baby things.....they are going to wait to find out the sex of the baby and there is nothing I love more than surprises!
I would normally have tons of pictures of that very fun-filled weekend but oddly enough, I was suffering with pretty severe back pains. I am not sure how I injured my back but it was so painful that I ended up in the ER. Two back injections and some muscle relaxers later I am now about 85% better than I was about 2 weeks ago. I start physical therapy tomorrow for a possible herniated disc/pinched nerve injury. I really hope this helps me feel better because I really don't want to have an MRI or any other medical procedures. Back problems are not easy to cure and the thought of having back surgery scares the living s*%^ outta me! Here's hoping everything turns out ok. Somewhere in between all of that activity, we thought it would be a brilliant idea to move into a different house on base because it offered a different layout and fenced in backyard for our dogs. We couldn't have picked worse timing, with my back being out I was pretty useless in any of the moving which made everything a little more stressful and a little less organized. we did it though, thanks to Joe's wonderful parents. They really seem to get us out of some pretty sticky situations sometimes and we are just so grateful for them. Now that I am feeling better I get to redecorate and have fun with all of the unpacking....which I hate doing ha! At least we were able to get rid of a lot of junk we had piling up around our house so hopefully when we HAVE to move next it wont be as cluttered, which I doubt.
Adrianna turned 15 months as well a few weeks ago and it really is just heart warming to see all of the new things she is learning. She can point to and name several things around the house, her favorite is grabbing anything; remotes, teddy bears, and sometimes and actual ball and throwing it while screaming "BALL" at the top of her lungs. She is such an amazing little person. She says "night night" and lays down on the floor and then pops her head up and starts laughing because I pretend to get scared....she loves it. by far the funniest and cutest thing she does now is talk on the phone in her own baby babble. It is so cute! So now whenever the phone rings she is trying to pry it away from my ear so she can talk too. Hubby mentioned yesterday that he almost started crying because while he was playing with her in the backyard it hit him that he can actually PLAY with her in the backyard.....she runs after him and the dogs and just loves to crunch leaves beneath her feet. Such a fun age. She is going to be a bumble bee for Halloween, and so am I! I can't wait to take her trick'er treating, we have been practicing buzzing like a bee...."bee" ready for some cute pics and videos! :)

She loves watching the squirrels 

"No No" screaming to the squirrels 

She kept saying "bye bye" because she wanted to go outside

Is it too early for winter PJs?

Taking a phone call

In the mean time, check her out talking to her uncle Kev and enjoy a few recent pics.

My favorite time of year

It is finally fall in New England! I love this time of year, the pumpkin and apple picking, crisp fall nights, hoodie whether, leaves changing and MY BIRTHDAY! I'm hoping to make it a good one this year, since next year there may possibly be an addition to our growing family.....and no I am not pregnant yet. I plan on having a few drinks with some good friends and just enjoying the beginning of my 26th year. I have plenty to be thankful for. Sometimes I can hardly believe that this time last year I was cuddling with a 3 month old baby wondering if I would ever GET how to be a mom, at least a good one. I had so many questions, so many anxieties, and I was very self conscious of my mothering style. I can say now that, although I still have lots to learn, that I am so comfortable where I am as far as mothering my wonderful baby girl stands. I feel like I have her nap schedule down, her eating finally figured out, and I understand her moods; good and bad. She goes to the doctor next week for her 15 MONTH CHECKUP! 15 months....still sounds very strange to say that. I have been following other blogs where they will post a list of the new things and changes their babies have gone through every month like their height, weight, favorite food, nap schedule, favorite book, favorite song etc so I will post something similar next week.
Adrianna started up her Little Gym classes again in the beginning of September and she is so independent! She loves to sing the welcome and goodbye song with the bells and loves the bubbles. Apparently she does really well on the high bar and low beams....she has very good balance and upper body strength. She hangs on the high bar like a monkey! Which is funny because that is her signature "animal." She has monkeys in her nursery decorations, clothing (carters has the cutest monkey line) and even hair clips. It suits her, although I have gotten rude remarks about why I call her a monkey (some people just need to relax with their opinions)! Little Gym is really teaching her how to play with other children well and how to feel comfortable playing away from me, away from her comfort zone. She goes off and explores all of the equipment and doesn't even look back to see if I am behind her. She has even learned sign language! I have been working with her on using sign language to be able to communicate what she wants instead of getting frustrated. She can sign gym, all done, more, please, thank you, and milk. All very important in her life right now :) I am just so proud of how much she is learning and how quickly she can pick things up. Today she was watching Little Einsteins and was copying all of the movements like patting her knees when they do and saying blast off (well she just screams but I'm sure she thinks she is saying it) and it is so cute. Her newest love, Fresh Beat Band. She dances to their songs and tries to sing. It is so cute! Maybe she will be a gymnast and/or singer when she grows up :) No rush!
 Here are some recent pics of Adrianna:

Her princess wand

Doing what she does best, PLAY

Opening and closing the gate door

Self Soothing

Last weekend I went to a Hanscom Spouses Club meet and greet...yes I went. If you know me you know that is so not my thing. But I actually had a good time and meet some nice people! It is always nice to meet new people...and drink wine :) I met up with a friend first at her house where she was waiting on her sitter to arrive. I stopped and listened to her explain to the sitter everything about her son and heard her say "just put him down to sleep, don't rock him he will just put himself to sleep." Her son is 8 months old. This made me realize something, I have always rocked Adrianna to sleep before putting her in her crib. Every nap and every bedtime was the same. I would bring her upstairs, read her a story then rock her to sleep and slowly put her down then sneak out of her room. Lately she has been fighting me when I try to rock her and I just thought "wow she is really fighting her sleep today." It never even crossed my mind that MAYBE just MAYBE it may be time to start letting her self sooth to sleep. I should have done this months ago but for some reason I have been having a hard time letting go of the fact that Adrianna is not a baby anymore. 

This same friend was mentioning to me that she sometimes lets her baby "cry it out." I have never even thought of doing that with Adrianna simply because I just always had a fear of her crying so hard she throws up...which she has done....but back when she had reflux as an infant! She is not a baby anymore. She is not so delicate anymore. I also noticed this same friend's video monitor and noticed that she couldn't even SEE her son sleeping in it. She mentioned that since lowering the crib she hasn't been able to actually see him but she mostly uses it just to see when he actually gets up and to hear his cry. I, on the other hand, still wake up once a night to stare at the monitor to make sure she's breathing or I walk into her room to check. I guess it's because of having to be so careful when she was first born. She was a 5 week preemie born at 4lbs 4oz so she was tiny! She never had issues breathing but the NICU nurse always made sure to drill it into my head that I needed to check on her and make sure she was always on her back because she could stop breathing especially because she was so little. I guess I forgot to stop STOP checking, Ha! Well I always kind of knew I should really stop being so scared of something bad happening...especially since my husband had been pointing out my obsession with the video monitor lately and been telling me to turn it off at night and I refused. 

Listening to my friend talk about her 8 month old and how laid back she was with him made me stop and think. What was I planning, rocking Adrianna to sleep until she was 2 or 3 years old?! So a few days ago, Monday actually, I decided to read her a bedtime story, kiss her goodnight and put her down to let her cry it out. She cried for about a half hour....I know because I looked at the time, it really felt like 2 hours. She then laid herself down and fell fast asleep. She didn't even wake up in the middle of the night like she sometimes did! Tuesday I tried it again and she fell asleep in, I'm not kidding, 3 minutes! A little crying then she laid down and hugged her teddy and fell asleep. I guess I have been holding her back from being a big girl and I wasn't listening to her demand to let her be and do things on her own. So I have put away all bottles, let her feed herself, sometimes with a spoon if it's not too messy, and I must say I feel better about her being more independent! This crying it out thing was much easier than I thought it would be, I'm sure it wont be this easy with my future children....no way am I going to be blessed with such easy children! Well you never know, guess I'll just have to wait and see ;) 

We are quite the travelers...

As I hear from many of my friends, we travel A LOT! I know but we can't help ourselves...we just love taking trips and experiencing new things with Adrianna! We have always been this way. We are not rich, trust me, we just plan trips ahead of time and shuffle our finances around accordingly. It also helps that we have a lot of Hilton Honors points and sky miles (thanks Joe!) so we take full advantage. Although, I think this time we bit off more than we could chew. It all began with Joe going to his SOS training (squadron officer school) in Montgomery, AL. I had to pack for us three to head down to my parent's house in NY then drop Adrianna off with them and take the drive with Joe to Alabama. We planned on taking 2 days to drive to Atlanta then I would fly back to NY, he would head of to his final destination, I would sleep at my parents one night then spend the rest of the 5 weeks he would be gone back at our home in MA. When I got back to NY I just decided it would be easier to spend a few weeks in NY then head back to MA for a week or so and then go back to NY where Adrianna and I would fly out to AL to meet up with Joe again and begin the drive back up to MA. I'm exhausted already just typing this and at the same time thinking "Are you crazy?! Woman relax with your child at home and take it easy." So anyway, I stayed with my parents. On my final week there, they were planning on heading to my aunt's 40th birthday party for the weekend in Miami. You think I would pass up a weekend in Miami....a FREE weekend in Miami? No. So off Adrianna and I went on an adventure. Connecting flights there and back. First a frantic drive back to MA to pack real quick for our extended trip to Miami and then 3 days after we return we were due to head out to AL to meet up with Joe. How do I even pack for that? I amaze myself sometimes because I was surprisingly organized and didn't forget anything! We had a blast with my family in Miami and were excited to reunite with Joe in AL but after so many plane trips in one week and the diaper bag, stroller, car seat, all of which I had to carry around, I am done with plane trips without Joe for a while. I don't want to see another plane for a long time in fact!

Best part about meeting up with Joe and making our way back north was our road trip adventure. In 6 days we drive to our old base in Warner Robins, GA to see some good friends, stopped in Myrtle Beach, SC for 2 nights then drove straight to right past Washington DC for the night and the next day made it to Joe's parent's country house in Livingston Manor, NY. It was stressful and tricky at times. We have a very picky eater so trying to figure out where to stop and eat according to what she will actually EAT was tough. We made it, unscathed. Apparently Adrianna loves chicken now and she even tried mild wings from Buffalo Wild Wings and loved the spiciness! Which doesn't surprise me, I couldn't get enough spicy food when I was pregnant with her. Except I was going for full on hot wings back then....I can't tolerate that now. Funny how your body changes with pregnancy. Our last adventure of the summer road trip took us to Yankee Stadium for Adrianna's first Yankees game (or is it Yankee game, I don't know I always drop the "s"). Of course that day was one of the hottest days for a while....upper 80s but it definitely felt like 90s. Adrianna was a trooper and she had so much fun! She was cheering the whole time, looking behind her because that is where all the people were and she loves attention! We had great seats too, 5 rows back from left field.

I remember telling Joe that I was a little bummed because we weren't going to do all the "summery" things I hoped to do with Adrianna because of his training. By the looks of things, we crammed our "summer" into two long, exhausting, but fun weeks. The memories we made I will never forget. And now we are back home in MA. We have a routine again, Adrianna learned how to fully walk here...no more crawling (hardly) which is a nice, anticipated achievement! But boy is it harder to entertain her. She is just such an adventurous, curious, intelligent little 14 month old. I can't wait to do fall'y' (autumn'y'? whatever) with her now and make more precious unforgettable memories. Here are some (LOTS!) of pictures from our trips:

Waiting for our flight to Miami, she loved the planes

With her Tia Wendy

Park play date with her bff

summer picnic

Birthday twin Weslynn

Her friend Eli

Wearing a very appropriate "southern like" dress

Name in the sand

She loved the ocean

A not so relaxing dinner experience 

She was not happy

Stepping on a bug

A hot day at Yankee stadium 

But we had a great time! 

I will never understand this about myself...

Today, Joe calls me and tells me all about the great time he had visiting his brother in Destin, FL. He goes on and on about the bar and the restaurant and the fact that he is going to a Braves game next weekend. Shouldn't I be happy that he is not lonely and is having a great time? I instead found myself getting a little angry about it. I felt so sad and lonely while he was marveling at the dolphins that he saw while at the beach.
I feel like I have always felt like this when Joe does something awesome without me. I know he misses me and wishes I was with him, so why do I get angry? While he lived in GA and I in NY the 2 years before we got married, I found myself reacting the same way when he would tell me about weekend getaways with his friends and parties/get-togethers I was missing out on. I really think it is my way of just missing him. It must be the way it comes out, I get upset. I wonder if anyone else has had similar feelings.
I don't like feeling like that nor do I like making Joe feel horrible about having a good time. He should have a good time. We had a good talk about this today. This is why I love him so much, he loves me even for my flaws. He made me explain to him what I was feeling and we both realized I must be feeling left out because this was the summer I pictured doing "summery" things as a family....just him, me and Adrianna. I wanted to take Adrianna to the beach for the first time with him, explore Rhode Island, Maine and Cape Cod now that she could handle the heat better, and now we can't because he is gone basically the whole summer. For the last 6 months, we have not taken much time to enjoy being together, as a family without anyone else or doing something for anyone else. We have been busy doing things with our families and always talked about having the summer all to ourselves. Once we realized that this was the problem we decided we needed to get away just the three of us. He called me a little while ago and said that on our drive back up from Alabama (Adrianna and I are flying to Alabama to join him on his drive back up to MA, making a pit stop on our old stomping grounds Warner Robins, GA) we are going to spend 2 days in Myrtle Beach just the three of us....exploring, going to the beach and enjoying the last bits of summer together. I love that he understood just what I needed and made the effort to really listen to my feelings. I do have to say he has come a long way from our early dating days and has learned to actively listen and pay attention to the details. He is not perfect, but I don't want perfect I want perfect for me....and that is what he is. Adrianna and I miss him so much....only 18 more days until we can have our "first kiss" moment.

Who has time to be lonely when you have a baby?

I helped send Joe off to SOS over the weekend. I drove to NY to my parent's house last Thursday so that I could give myself time to settle Adrianna into their house for the weekend, settle the dogs in as well, and maybe get some rest somewhere in between. Joe drove the next day to pick me up and off we went on our quick roadtrip to Atlanta. The plan was to drive to Virginia Friday then to Atlanta Saturday. I would then take a flight back to New York Sunday and Joe would continue his drive to Maxwell AFB in Alabama that day. Everything worked out pretty smoothly and exactly as planned. It was actually a nice way to send him off for 5 weeks.

We got to spend some "us" time together. It's funny how much you forget what it is like to be with each other alone when you have a baby. It was so strange to not have to worry about feedings, diaper changes etc. It was almost like we re-bonded as an "us" even if it was only for a few days. We missed Adrianna like crazy though. I called my mom about a hundred times, "did she eat? what did she eat? what time did she eat? how many poops did she have? were they normal? I heard her cough is she ok?" Typical worrier that I am. Joe missed her the most. He had to say goodbye to her knowing he wouldn't see her for 5 weeks. We cried a little in the car talking about it. I know that 5 weeks is nothing compared to others who have to do without their spouses for months or even a year and they are deployed in much more dangerous places than Montgomery, AL (although if you've ever been there I doubt you'd feel safe, Ha!). I still feel that any time away from home, whether it be one week or one year, is hard.

My heart hurts for those who's husbands had to say goodbye to their babies and wont see them for months....it just doesn't seem fair to put children through something like that. But then you think about the bigger picture, what the work that our husbands do really means, and you feel so proud to know that they help shape and mold what our country is. It is almost beyond comprehension. Can you imagine what they must see everyday? I sure can't. But it comes with the territory of being a military family. You can explain to your child about why daddy (or mommy) has to leave and when they will come back and hope they understand. I am most definitely not looking forward to the day Joe has to deploy and Adrianna (and our future children) understand he is leaving and they just cry and cry. I struggle with that thought, but I try and mentally prepare myself for the inevitable as much as possible.

 Alas, Joe is not deployed. He will return at the end of August and things will get back to normal fairly quickly. I know Adrianna misses him, but she doesn't really understand the concept of him being gone yet. When he comes back she will be just as excited as if he were coming home from a regular 8 hour work day (she can barely contain the excitement she feels when he walks through the door every day). I miss him so much. My routine is completely thrown off due to him being away. A lot of what I do during the day and the times I do it revolve around his schedule. When he is away, I tend to slack off on schedules. Dishes pile up in the sink until I feel like loading the dishwasher, I don't cook (canned soup most nights), basically housework takes a back seat and I end up playing with Adrianna almost all day. It's nice for a few days or even a week, but 5 weeks of that can get old fast. I decided I was just going to stay at my parents' house in NY for the next few weeks. At least I will be getting some help with Adrianna and I can catch up with friends. Plus it is always nice for Adrianna to get quality time with both sets of grandparents. Basically, I wont have time to feel lonely. And hey, maybe I can actually go get that mani/pedi that I have been desperately desiring for weeks now =)
Almost one week down!

Oh, THIS is when the real work begins

As we excitedly celebrated Adrianna turning one and marveled at her attempts to begin walking (She has taken a total of 5 steps since July 6th!) I am nostalgic about the newborn days. The days where all Adrianna would do is eat, cry, poop and sleep...a lot. The days when she looked to me to tend to her needs, when she was predictable. The days when she didn't scream bloody murder when I try to put pants on her. Oh how I miss those days, yet I am having so much fun with my little toddler. I love that she is learning how to express herself and how to communicate with the world around her. For example, we were eating lunch at Quiznos and she happened to be sitting facing the door. She had to wave to every single person that walked through the door, she was a big hit! Everyone thought it was the cutest thing, it really is the sweetest thing ever!

It's the stuff she does that is not quite sweet that is hard work to handle. As I was getting ready to go out yesterday I spent most of the time getting Adrianna out of whatever trouble she was getting herself into. I would say "no no, if you climb that you'll get a boo boo" and she would proceed to scream and try and bite my hand. I look at her and say "biting hurts, ouch" in hopes that she will be the ONLY toddler that listens to mommy and doesn't bite ever...I know that it is inevitable but it is such a difficult behavior to handle. How about when I turn around for 2 seconds and somehow she finds an old razor of mine and is 2 inches from putting it in her mouth before I freak out and take it away and startle her. She can find anything on the floor, stuff I have never seen before, like the razor. I feel like I spend half my time getting her out of stuff and the other half trying to make her eat!

Some please explain to me why feeding a toddler is so difficult. Adrianna was never much of an eater but she at least would eat something. I give her so many options, make 3 different things, offer fruits I know she likes, but I feel like she just doesn't want to be told what and when to eat...she wants to make her own choices. It is a good personality trait to have, but come on Adrianna give mommy a break :) I make two or three different things for her to eat and she almost always chooses to eat bread. My only solution is to make that bread as healthy a choice as possible. I spread cream cheese and a little butter on it to give her protein and fats (her pediatrician actually encouraged more butter and other fats in her meals because she is so thin) maybe melt some american cheese on top or even spread applesauce on it. I am trying so hard to give her enough servings of the food groups I know she needs in order to be healthy but it is really stressful. As a mom, I know my baby needs to eat. When she doesn't eat I feel like I am not doing my job, like I am doing something wrong. I've tried reading up about it but that just made me more confused. Who has time to read 600+ page book (What to Expect: Toddler Years is ridiculous). The only thing that reading up on it helped me realize is that I am not alone.....everyone goes through what I am going through with Adrianna, at least in some form.

Having a toddler is very interesting, lots of work, but so much fun! She is such a bright, funny, imaginative little bug and we are just loving that she is becoming more and more like an actual person. She imitates us. The other day we had to go run errands and I picked her up then put on my sunglasses. She kept staring at me with them on. I went and grabbed her sunglasses, which she has never worn for more that a second, and I put them on her. She loved it! Huge smile on her face and she didn't take them off! She loved being like mommy and having sunglasses. She also picks up any object; her shoe, a book, a block, and holds it up to her ear and starts babbling away as if on the phone. So cute.

I guess as with every difficult stage she has gone through in the past, the biting stage will pass eventually. Being a mom to a toddler has been quite interesting so far and I am sure it will only get more.....interesting.

Don't let that innocent, sweet smile fool you :)